Muscles are built through resistance, work and discipline. That is why many people choose not to go to the gym. Regardless of whether you go to the gym or not there is one muscle we should all strengthen.

Personally, I enjoy eating candy. Sour Patch Kids, Mike and Ikes, you name it and I’ll like it. All the grocery store clerks know this. That is why they hang candy out in front of me at every isle. I am literally looking for a tube of toothpaste and there are Sour Patch kids hanging down off the shelf!

What I know I need to do is say yes to the tooth paste and no to the candy.

The ability to say no is the muscle we all need to strengthen. We should all learn to say no every day.

Dog Paul Jolicoeur Take Control With One Two Letter WordThis might sound negative but the reality is that if we are unable to say no we will ultimately lose control of our ability to make wise decisions. In turn, this causes us to lose the freedom to say yes to the things that really matter.

Every day we should look for the opportunity to flex the no muscle. This form of delayed gratification will give you the power to lead yourself well.

Appetites only grow when fed.

This is why you can eat a huge meal and just a few hours later feel hungry again.

Appetites can only be satisfied temporarily.

Basically, the more we get, the more we want.

So what can we do? We have to eat!

A leader must be able to lead themselves well, have self-discipline and self-control. None of these can be developed and sustained when all we grant to our desires is a resounding yes.

And that is why it is important to grow and flex the no muscle. Here are a few places and ideas where we can flex this very important muscle:

  • Eating more food (the kind of eating that happens just because you are bored)
  • Impulse buying (yes it’s shiny and would be really fun to have, but no you don’t need it)
  • Going out every time you get an invite (it is ok to stay at home when all your friends are going out)

Delaying gratifications reminds your mind and body who is really in control. If you don’t teach them this extremely valuable lesson they will run all over you and steal the control that belongs in your hands.

Learning to say no is a discipline. It’s not always bad to eat more food, buy the new toy or sleep in. What is not alright is allowing these things to take control.

That is why learning to say no and delay the yes will help keep these desires in check.

How might you strengthen your no muscle this week?

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Today is Canadian Thanksgiving!

There are many differences between Canada and US and this is one of them. I don’t know why the US celebrates it so close to Christmas, I like where Canada has it!

Regardless of the difference on the calendar, there are many similarities. Families come together, eat a meal and spend time together. In the US there’s football on the TV and in Canada you have the choice between hockey or baseball.

As the name of the holiday implies, it is also a time to reflect on the things we are thankful for. When the crop comes in, it is time to celebrate the bounty that was harvested. Continue Reading…

I believe you are a leader and you have an influence on the world around you. If you are married, your effectiveness and ability to change the world is contingent on the health of your relationship with your spouse.

Last month my wife Laurie and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. Over the last several years we’ve travelled around the world together, had 2 beautiful children and have moved countries twice.

All in all I would say it’s been a fantastic adventure. That I wouldn’t trade for anything!  Continue Reading…

Every successful person that has ever lived has possessed the ability to lead themselves well. They are able to decide what they want and move with passion towards that objective.

Most successful people find the motivation, power and discipline from within themselves.

I have spoken to many people that want more. They want more money, responsibility, lose weight, play a sport or take up an instrument. Personally I have been that person on many occasions! 

The difference between the person who wants much and the person that achieves success is their ability to lead themselves well. Lets call this self-leadership. Continue Reading…

We have entered into a new season. The air is cooler, the trees are starting to turn color and if you have children they are back in school. For most people this new season move us into a new routine of life post-summer.

At the beginning to the year I set some personal goals for myself.

To be honest I don’t think I am on track to complete all of them. I hit a few unexpected bumps and a few new turns.  Continue Reading…

Are You Crazy Enough?

August 27, 2014 — 7 Comments

Growing up, I was always told that I could change the world and that I could make a difference. In some cases perhaps the person was just blowing smoke, and other times I think they actually meant it.

The truth is, as I grew up I actually began to believe what I was being told. 

I believe there is something inside each of us that desires to make a difference. The truth is, the invitation to make a difference is available to each of us.

Maybe you have a dream or an idea that you think might be great, but you’ve been told you are crazy. Someone said it would never work, you aren’t smart enough or you don’t have what it takes.

If that is the case, maybe you are on the right track!   Continue Reading…

Last week I attended a networking event for social media marketers. Being new to the city I was very interested in meeting new people. There was only 1 problem. I didn’t know anyone else going.

Now, I know what you might be thinking…the whole point of going is to meet new people.  Yes, that is true, but it’s always nice to have a wing man!

Over the last several weeks, I have been to a handful of networking events. I know they can be intimidating to attend. It can be overwhelming to see that many new people all in one place. Maybe you aren’t sure what to say or what to do.  Continue Reading…

Thank you to everyone that took my survey, the survey is now closed. I would love to hear from you anytime, email me Paul@PaulJolicoeur.com


 

Hi Friends,

My desire is to help you grow in your influence and reach your full potential. I want to create useful and relevant content for you. In order to do this, I need to hear from YOU. As a result I have created my first ever Reader’s Survey!

Your input is important to me. The survey is easy to fill out and will only take a few minutes to complete.  Continue Reading…

The other day on my morning run, I saw a biker riding down the street. This is nothing surprising in Portland, considering bikers get their own lane on almost every road.

What was surprising about this particular biker was how quickly he was peddling and how slow he was actually going. 

I realized at that moment that this biker needed to switch gears. He was in the wrong gear that was causing him to work much harder than he needed too. 

Not to mention he looked really silly!  Continue Reading…

When I was in high school I worked on a farm. I bailed the hay and got it ready in the barn for the winter. I cleaned and bagged seed for the following years crop. During one summer, I had to pick up the rocks from a field before the seeds could be planted. 

I remember being in the field alone. It was hot in the sun and I was tired. It would have been easy for me to “skip” a few rocks and get the job done fast, but something didn’t seem right to me about that.

It might be because I know that everything I do, I must be willing to put my name on it and stand behind it.  Continue Reading…